I love writing about a wide variety of things, from the fascinating to the absurd.
What Kinds of Weird Accessories Can I Put on My Vehicle?
Car owners get car accessories. Sometimes, they make cars more convenient for the user... other times, they just decorate the vehicle in some way that reflects the owner's personality. However, some accessories seriously go way above and beyond what's normal.
Here are 10... uh... make that 11 that are the most ridiculous of all, listed roughly in the order from ridiculous-but-cute to WTF!?!
Yes, it's exactly what you think. Fake eyelashes you stick onto your headlights. Really turns your car into a "she." Slap on some "pearly whites" (see next item) and some red "lips" and you've got one pretty car. Never knew your car could be that feminine, heh?
The male counterpart of car lashes... add some teeth to your lower air intake so your car looks like something that came out of the nasty version of the Disney Cars movie. You can even do the "buckteeth" version... and yes, they have a "vampire" version available, too.
Fake Turbo Whistle
Real turbocharged engines have a release valve (also known as "dump valve" or "blow-off valve") so when the pressure reaches a certain point from the turbocharger, there's a distinct ping-whistle-hiss sound.
You can buy sound generators that imitate that sound without the real turbocharger. The simple ones install into the muffler. The more complicated ones hook up to your engine computer.
Engine Sound Generator
Want something more impressive than just a wee bit of turbo sound? You can get a sound generator that will make your teeny-weeny I-4 sound like a hulking V-8 engine! Really!
In fact, you can make your dinky sound like something more, from exotic to luxury to just BIG. You can even pick the sound of rally cars, Formula 1 racers, and other engine sounds.
Consider putting one of these on your electric car (because those are WAY too quiet).
Fake Hood Pins
Race cars have their hoods secured by simple "hood pins" because the latches and release cable add extra weight. In a real race car, any extraneous weight is removed to improve acceleration and handling.
Fake racers have glue-on versions of hood pins to make them look like racers. When done right, it looks very authentic, but when it's not done quite right... well, they look fake as heck. So please do it properly.
Vinyl is a cheap way to add some flair to the car's exterior, but when there are too many, badly done, or just completely irrelevant, it looks completely out of place and just plain dumb. When there's too much vinyl, the whole result looks ridiculous.
Huge Tires With Almost No Air
What good is a tire without air? But nowadays, you see all these SUVs and raised sedans with like 24- or 26-inch wheels and tires that are maybe 1-2 inches thick. They can't have much air in them at all, and the ride must be horrible.
Frankly, this sort of tire only "looks" good, but does not go fast. This sort of tire doesn't "flex" in corners, so cornering in this sort of car is horrible and thus, overall, you'll have a much slower car.
Really Ridiculous Wings
A spoiler should serve a purpose, even if it's only for aesthetics. Mounting a GT3-style racing wing on a family sedan is a total mistake. So are the "superbird" wings that arch higher than the roof, making the wing look like a carrying handle. Or putting the wing on the front (yes, it does happen).
Fake Decals and Badges
Nothing wrong with making your car look more than it really is... as long as the appearance is reasonable. Even my car appears to be a bit more than it really is. However, when the appearance gets too outrageous (such as a "turbo" badge on an exotic car that could not possess a turbo, or a Honda made up to look like a BMW) it is just wrong.
Really, Really Stupid Stickers
The incredibly dumb stickers, such as that sunshield that goes on the top edge of the front windshield, often have the dumbest sayings. Like "Powered by Honda" on a... Honda. Or a Honda with a TRD sun shield (TRD = Toyota Racing Development).
Please, folks. You want people to see your car and get a "wow" feeling. You don't really want them to see your car and say "duh!" or even worse... "facepalm." (Facepalm: when it's too stupid for words.)
And the Most Ridiculous of All... Truck "Nutz"
Yes, that is a set of... uh... testicles that you hang on a trailer hitch that goes under your rear bumper. Also available in chrome, camo, and multiple colors. You can get lighted and flashing models. They come in a variety of sizes, from little 2-inch ones for keychains up to that monster 16-inch model for monster trucks, I guess...
I honestly don't know why anybody would want to hang a set on the back of their truck. Do they lack a pair of their own? Do they masculify (is that even a word?) their vehicle that much? Only guys hang these on their cars.
In 2008, a Virginia legislator got so fed up with those balls he wants them banned.