Top 10 Ugliest Cars From the 1980s (Funny)
Top 10 Ugly Cars of the '80s
As an '80s survivor, I feel it's my civic duty to the children of the world to raise awareness of the ugliness that was the 1980s. More to the point, to I would like to highlight and bring to the surface what used to be considered fashionable and practical modes of transportation.
If you don't know your history, you are doomed to repeat it, and I refuse to drive a teal Ford Escort... again..
If you like this article, feel free to check out my article on The Ugliest Cars of the 1970s.
Ugliest Cars of the 1980s
- 1985 Chevrolet Cavalier
- 1983 AMC Eagle 4X4 Station Wagon
- 1985 Chrysler Lebaron
- 1981 Mercury Cougar
- 1982 Chevette
- 1980 Chevrolet Citation
- 1980 Aston Martin Lagonda
- 1987 Dodge Charger
- 1983 Ford Mustang
- 1981 Yugo
1. 1985 Chevrolet Cavalier
The first car I ever bought was a 1985 Chevy cavalier. It cost me $500 and I bought it from nuns. We called it the "Nun Runner."
Well, I got just what I paid for. This car was constantly breaking down on me. My high school auto shop teacher was thrilled. While everyone else was changing anti-freeze I was replacing front axles, radiators and CV joints. I was his favorite student.
And one time, a couple of friends of mine left a rotting whopper in the back seat of my disabled vehicle while it was sitting securely on a lift inside the school. I don't miss this car. Mine was blue, but almost as rusty. I guess one reason there were so many brown Chevy cars in the '80s is because it was less obvious when they inevitably rusted out.
2. 1983 AMC Eagle 4X4 Station Wagon
Oh, so many things wrong with this picture. While the idea of having a four wheel drive station wagon entices my reckless side, one has to wonder about the practicality of this vehicle.
And now a word on wood paneling. It doesn't look good in your home and it has absolutely no place on the outside of your car. Who was the first manufacturer to do this? Who said, "Boy we sure have a great product here. You know what would make it even better? Wood paneling. We'll appeal to all the highfalutin lumberjacks moguls."
However, it was good cop camouflage. I never once got pulled over while driving my wood-paneled Chrysler Grand Caravan when I was in college.
3. 1985 Chrysler Lebaron
Behold the boxy mediocrity of the 1985 Chrysler Lebaron, which once again showcases the wood-paneled craze of the '80s. This car was built in a time before wind tunnels. Convertible models came with a flimsy cloth-vinyl hybrid material on the roof. That's right, you heard me—a cloth roof. I'm no car designer, but common sense dictates that a flimsy cloth roof should not be your first choice for something that's going on the exterior of a car.
My best friend in high school that had one of these Chrysler cars. The roof was full of tiny holes near all the windows. Eventually, the heat in the car went out shortly after we left for a 3 1/2 hour trip to Kalamazoo in a snowstorm. We stopped about every 20 minutes to warm up. I think we rolled into K-zoo around 3 am.
Are we in agreement that this is one ugly ride?
4. 1981 Mercury Cougar
I don't know if this car is incredibly ugly or just agonizingly plain. It's a little of both, I suppose. When taking in the curves and grace that is the 1981 Mercury Cougar experience, you have to wonder what the inspiration was for the designers of this majestic vehicle. My guess is Rockford Files, Sanka and endless cartons of Kools.
I can't say for a fact that this is a smoking vehicle, but I think these came standard with plaid bean bag ashtrays. I just know there's on inside this car that's overflowing with butts.
5. 1982 Chevette
The 1981 Chevette is a car that screams "why bother?" These vehicles were wildly popular in the '80s. It seemed like every other car on the road was one of these little boxy rust buckets.
I used to get driven to Catechism with a friend whose Dad would pick us up in a rusted-out Chevette. The driver's side seat belt had long since been ripped out of the car and was replaced with a short belt fashioned out of nylon rope. Cutting-edge '80s car safety technology.
We used to peel the floor mats back and drop junk through the hole in the floor that had rusted out in the back seat. I still see these relics of the Regan era every great once in a while.
6. 1980 Chevrolet Citation
Ironically named the Citation, this vehicle doesn't look like it could even reach a top speed fast enough to actually get a citation. Reminiscent of a giant blue snail, this uninspired hunk of metal should earn you a citation for driving it in public.
Just looking at this car gives me a headache. Oh and look... this one has a flat tire?
7. 1980 Aston Martin Lagonda
The 1980 Aston Martin Lagonda is proof that even fine automobile manufacturers can also make some flaming turds. Normally, Aston Martin is on top of their game when it comes to luxury vehicles, but they really dropped the ball with this stepped-on offering. It looks like someone was trying to smash this car at a junk yard and pulled it out of the steely claws of the car compactor in time to leave it smooshed and distorted.
8. 1987 Dodge Charger
This Dodge car, the 1987 Dodge Charger, is trying hard to beat the '83 Mustang below in an ugly car contest and it's giving it a run for the money. I'm not really sure what the designers in the '80s were thinking when it came to car colors. The best I can figure is that they were all shipped in from an eastern block country, or the designers were color blind.
9. 1983 Ford Mustang
I know, let's take the classic Ford Mustang and make it look as much like an Escort as possible. And how about we paint it two separate shades of brown. Nothing says "fast" like burnt umber.
The 1983 Ford Muscort is a fine example of a classic Ford vehicle that was abused by a Tab-fueled, Thompson-Twin-listening, Rubik's-cube-solving, uninspired society that gave us leg warmers and Paula Abdul.
10. 1981 Yugo
The crap-de-resistance. What can I say about this car that it isn't already screaming itself? It's small, boxy and ugly, but cheap. Hence the appeal for this pillbox of a car.
It reminds me of the sassy new Mexican import that's made out of clay. The first car to break the $179 barrier. The Adobe, the car made out of clay.
What's The Ugliest Car? Who wins?
Out of the 10 abominations above, which ride is the ugliest?